Dagger

Word of the day challenge- prayer

Get ready for my messiest post yet.

——————

I wish now to dissolve the sky,

Sitting in the rainy ramparts of July

Be electric and be free from the walls I’ve built around me,

Because I have a prayer within me

Walls I’ve built in the face of sun,

Now refuse to admit one haunting beam,

And why should they?

I’m the king within the hold, I, alone, in my stronghold

Seven faces I’ve let scale my forts,

and already Two lie in memory.

A memory of rot or comfort, do not ask me.

One of the Six is now the constant ghost of company,

Red and purple in blissful symphony,

But how long until it disappears? How long, till the exorcist appears?

Three are flashes of the story,

In it today, gone the next,

but ever justifying their warm existence.

I may just be making a show of lights,

spilling blood with no essence, Yet to me it feels real

But to the eyes looking, it’s always a show of fireworks, a piece of theatre.

I’m a Caesarian dagger,

Beautiful to those who stare,

Bloody to those who wield,

Dangerous to the ones who’re weak,

And nothing,

To the ignorant and bleak.

——————–

(apologizing for the randomness below)

Hello from me and my existential crisis. Putting out this poem, I just feel overstretched. I feel like I’m being very tacky and overdramatic. Because I’m used to existing the way I think I do. Any off the road event shakes my world. But still, I feel better inside my “fortress”. I know I cannot calculate and manipulate every aspect of my life and all people, but I’ve gotten too good at it to let it go. It feels so toxic sometimes. And it’s weird irony. I’ve become a slave to making my life free.

I don’t really even want to get into the fact that I have something in common with almost EVERY main character from euphoria. That is scary.

Is it really true that you peak when you’re 16- 25 years? Did you know that Rue and Jules are a parallel to Romeo and Juliet? What am I even writing at this point?